Letting Go

Letting Go

When you absolutely have to let go, can you?  In your life, what or who is the most difficult to release?   For me, letting go of someone I have loved is impossible.  I won’t do it.  If I have loved you, I always will.  Letting go in this sense, then, becomes more of a concept, releasing the idea of expectations.  It’s a tricky balance to hold steady when an expectation is not met.  Much stickier when it involves a person, murkier still, when I have cared deeply.

Letting go of a dream or a strongly felt want or need for a particular outcome that cannot be met is necessary for my inner peace and ability to move forward.  Tyranny is another word I use for expectation.  Every expectation exerts it’s own pressure on me to let it go, to constantly allow and accept what is…to be.

It’s not that I think anyone or anything needs to live up to my expectations of them or worse for them, and herein lies the rub; constantly letting go is a double edged sword. It requires compassion not only extended outward but maybe more importantly… drawn inward. My unmet expectations for myself are a personal tyranny. When I don’t expect something or someone or myself to live up to my subjective expectation, and they/I do, it’s a sweet surprise. When it or they or I don’t, it’s hard not to care deeply  because the tension that arises from expecting something either favorable or not, is the stuff of emotion.  I feel deeply.  All this is hard labor for me.

Yet, each moment I can choose to live my life in the present so that I am not mourning unmet expectations from the dead past nor creating tension and anxiety with expectations projected into the imagined future.  I have that choice if I can just remember.  I can do this, but I am undisciplined.  Discipline is a tyrannical expectation I have for myself that elicits angst and longing and often disappointment.

Letting go with compassion sounds simple and easy, doesn’t it?  But is it? Simple and easy are not the same thing.  Accepting life as it is has become, for me, a compassionate choice.  I accept and I still care deeply. It’s a concept and it is also an action I seek to embrace that is becoming easier each day I simply live and love on this planet.   How does Letting Go work for you?   Blessed Be.

4 thoughts on “Letting Go”

    1. Ana….I admire your messy, gracious, honest, difficult “Letting Go” journey of late. You have kept your heart open and are gathering momentum on your trek to the future. Bravo! Traveling mercies miamor. xoxoxo Chi

  1. I found your blog through the Turning Point Facebook page. Thanks for writing.

    Letting go is very difficult for me. I tend to obsess over things and it’s maddening.

    I think this will be helpful, to think about letting go as a release of expectations.

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