AND…How I Got Here.
I once, subscribed to a spiritual training that provided me with many important concepts and leanings, but it was also quite polarizing. I had already been practicing Polarity Therapy as a healing art for years before it dawned on me what, about that training, didn’t work for me. From the first introduction to the last disappointment there were resonate and useful learnings, which fueled my curiosity and propelled me to further inquiry, but more often I witnessed and experienced discordant and disenfranchising victimization. Nuance and shades of grey were deeply frowned upon, but the idea and practice of ‘versus’ was exalted.
The general focus was always on the problem of being human which was thought of as pathological, sick and wrong. The grand struggle required to overcome this sad reality involved complicated levels of energetic warfare used to eliminate fear while simultaneously instilling it. The lofty goal was nothing less than clearing all pathology blocking one’s ascension. This was tricky, and didn’t transfer easily to one’s usual social and family situations, which were often thought to be the core of one’s greater problems. It was a lot of work, a struggle, which we were taught was necessary for enlightenment. Little emphasis was placed on pleasure and enjoyment. I didn’t fully catch the deeper confusing dichotomy inherent in those teachings until I saw them in the rear-view.
Toward the end of that entrenched time, I happened onto another system, with much less complicated, much more fun And engaging methods for overcoming fear And blocks to success, happiness And enlightenment. This one offered an exciting array of practices that once understood And experienced could be reduced to catchy sound bite phrases that were easy to remember and implement. It was invigorating, rejuvenating And useful. Being human was considered delightfully obvious And natural, something to be grateful for. It was an adventure AND refreshing. I enjoyed it.
The first was meditative, cerebral, spanning a number of years with me commuting to my closed community before my disenchantment overruled. The second was complete within a couple years of action packed activities And a changing cast of characters.
The first saw every situation as this or that, good or bad, right or wrong, pass or fail, all or nothing and itself as a service, a savior to all of creation. The second allowed much more personal leeway And room to explore one’s own version of success And happiness. Enlightenment the delightful byproduct of becoming a better person more equipped to be of service to humanity.
Both banged dents all up in my wallet.
Some time later came the massive download…it was unsought, delivered free of cost AND changed everything. I was driving home from Canada with my daughter, after a thrilling exhausting white water river rafting trip. We had just crossed the border into the States, when suddenly I had the sensation that both my head AND heart were expanding, exploding, AND at the same time I was completely able to drive as if nothing at all were occurring. As the sensations became more intense, I had no idea what was happening AND I had no fear, I intuitively knew that I was physically fine. I felt a sense of excitement when I suddenly realized that I was downloading a new operating system. My physicality was highly electrically magnetically charged, vibrating and expanding AND yet my essence, my self was calm, serene, receptive. As the download continued AND became more intense I was fascinated with all the processes happening at once…driving became a distraction. We pulled off the road for an ice tea on the patio garden of a bistro. I couldn’t speak and my daughter knew to simply sit with me.
It took months to be able to coherently articulate what had changed. I began to call it The AND Operating System. During the initial download, all the obvious polarizing concepts, words, thought patterns were deleted and replaced with AND. For instance words like But and Or disappeared, replaced by AND, This or That became This AND That. The change was good AND changed everything. As time passed AND I became accustom to the more subtle aspects of how it worked, I experienced greater ease AND serenity, inclusivity AND reconciliation, more love AND less angst, a broader view AND an acceptance of narrowed certainty, the straight line between poles began forming circles of acceptance.
It no longer matters to me how AND why it happened to me AND what it has led to.
The world continues to spin as it did before AND I see that we are all humans here, having a spiritual experience AND spirits here, having a human experience… correct as it is…integrated in the balance of how it manifests for each of us …AND it’s all good…AND…there is Much More than meets the eye. Open your eyes And see…Open your hearts AND feel. Witness the Extraordinary in each expanded moment. We are all here for a purpose. We can’t really make a mistake, although some paths are easier, more pleasurable than others. There is always a chance and a choice to change direction when spirit moves. No Regrets.