Life is sexually transmitted.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
If you are wondering how to please a man just remember this simple rule: men have two emotions Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, either give him a good reason to have one or make him a sandwich.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they may not bother you for weeks, months, maybe even years.
Some people are like a Slinky…not really good for much of anything but entertainment…so it’s a big smile if they ever flip over backwards for you.
Health nuts may one day feel silly when they find themselves lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you many hundreds or thousands of dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you maybe…thirty?
In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world seem weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it seem normal.
And …Number 1?
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers–what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
My personal advice is to stay calm and….
.“Don’t worry about old age–it doesn’t last that long.”
….(especially if you decide to cycle backwards !!!)….